The ErotiCat Homepage - Sleeping with cats
Perversity in the Bedroom!
SICKOS WHO SLEEP WITH THEIR CATS!
Admissions of Guilt on Usenet ... Vets Turn a Blind Eye!
The ErotiCat Homepage, ever vigilent of scandals and perversions that afflict felines, is now ready to reveal the
results of new research which exposes a sickening phenomenon: PEOPLE WHO SLEEP WITH THEIR CATS!
In what can only be described as a spontaneous outpouring of guilt and admissions of perversity of the highest order,
people are flooding Usenet newsgroups and volunteering horrendous descriptions of nocturnal highjinks with cats,
including unseemly licking, kneading, rubbing and other what-nots. As is common is most abuse situations, the abusers
have conveniently convinced themselves that the victims want, and even insist on engaging in this behaviour.
We remain dumbfounded by the lack of concern expressed by the world's veterinary sciences and suspect a conspiracy
involving the world's top veterinary practionners. We ask why? Could they be among the abusers? Surely these poor cats are
suffering silent psychological scars! While we have no evidence at this time, we hope that the act of exposing this monstrous
crime will give people the courage to speak out and reveal the cabals we believe are conspiring to keep this phenomenon
a dark secret.
We leave the following evidence to the authorities. These are actual anecdotes recently culled from newsgroups.
We let you be the judge:
From: Lisa White, shylo@cooke.net
Date: 1998/01/02
Newsgroup: alt.animals.felines
I have two boys that sleep with me. They sleep on my side. The more I scooch over, the more they scooch over. I wake
up in the middle with my poor hubby on the rail. My boys sleep against my side no matter where I sleep. For three years I
worked nights so I slept by myself all day. I would wake up in the strangest places. Usually with my head in one corner and
my feet in the opposite corner. It gets much worse in winter.
From: behahn@ibm.net (Beth)
Date: 1998/01/16
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
My cat has this habit of sleeping down by my feet and then, sometime in the middle of the night, she'll creep up to the head
of the bed. In the morning I find her under the covers with her head on my pillows!!
From: Valerie_Baranusky@postoffice.brown.edu (Valerie A. Baranusky)
Date: 1998/01/08
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
With FuzzBall, I usually end up on the edge of the bed with him sprawled in the middle!!
From: "Butch Schopp" cschopp3@worldnet.att.net.nospam
Date: 1998/01/10
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
My 2 boys sleep with me also. One usually starts out trying to sleep between my knees. After awhile he gives up
and moves to the foot of the bed on the left because I roll over too often. At about 4:00AM he climbs up my body
and meows in my face until I wake up and pet him for about 10 minutes. The other usually sleeps at the foot of the
bed on the right. At 5:30AM every morning he moves up by my head and keeps poking his wet nose into my face
until I lay him on his side and scratch his belly
From: ckoehle@aol.com (Ckoehle)
Date: 1998/01/04
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
I have 6 cats and they all manage to sleep with me. 2 sleep on my pillows and somtimes I have been awakened by their
snoring. It's really terrible when I have to be up at 5am for work. It's those nights that they won't let me sleep at all. I
have to be fair to them tho, not all of them sleep with me at one time. Most of the time they sleep at the foot of the bed.
It's the one's that love to sit with me that lay on top of me every night. It's hard to sleep with 15 extra ponds on you. Cindy.
From: cocatfan@aol.com (CO Cat Fan)
Date: 1998/01/03
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
Aren't they the darndest things! One of my kitties likes to be very warm. All winter long she insists on sleeping in the bend
of my knees under the covers. And, if I scooch over or turn on my other side she shifts along with me and lets me know she
isn't happy about it! And, I move around a lot. Sharon
From: "Donna Garza-Prince" bigbitch@iglou.com
Date: 1998/01/02
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
One of mine, Honey, sleeps between my knees...the other, Kitti, sleeps on the couch by her own choice so far.
(Kitti is a new family member my husband picked up out of the parking lot at work and brought homeone cold night;
she's still not "friendly" with Honey, although Honey tries to be.) Of course, that means I have to have more room, so
my poor husband gets about 1/3 of the bed...:) Donna.
From: "SheStep" bjstep@sprintmail.com
Date: 1998/01/02
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
My husband would "kill" for 1/3 of the bed. We have a dog and a cat that both sleep on the bed(thank goodness they are
both small), and they take up at least half by themselves. We've been married 11 years, and still have a full(double) bed.
We never talked about getting a bigger one until just recently, and only now because of the animals. Shelia.
From: siamese98@aol.com (Siamese98)
Date: 1998/01/13
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
You guys are lucky. My black female will LOOK like she is falling asleep, but the instant you turn over & get comfortable,
she pounces. At first it's only subtle movements, like she's slowly pulling herself up to you from the foot of the bed. Then,
quicker than lighting, she has found a hole in the blankets and is inside. I don't mind this, but she doesn't stop there, that
would be too easy. Eventually she finds your fingers, usually beside your face, & PURPOSFULLY turns her head to face
you & begins licking, all the while, breathing on you through an open mouth. Stinky!! Of course, she tires of this quickly &
falls asleep. But she always seems to know when it's about an hour until your alarm will go off & Phase II starts. Again,
slowly & quietly, she makes her way out from under the covers & up to your head. There she eases down & wraps herself
around, from ear to ear. Then she purrs. And boy does she purr. It sounds like you're in the engine of a car, puttering down
the highway. But that is not all, of course. While purring, she begins to "knead" your hair with her claws. When this wakes
you up, as it always does, she, like all cats, just lays there looking completly innocent in the way that only cats can master.
Thanks for reading! Love to all felines, Andrea
From: konengro, konengro@worldnet.att.net
Date: 1998/01/13
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
Our Maine Coon, Bob, does the same number on me. Do you have front paws in your face, belly against the top of your
head, hind legs on your shoulder? More often than not I end up without the pillow or on the pillow next door (the boss of
my heart grumbling) and Bob is fine with that. It was his to start with, wasn't it? Regards, Paul F. Hoff, Milton, WA, konengro@worldnet.att.net
http://home.att.net/~konengro
From: "vito" vito@access1.net
Date: 1998/01/05
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
Heck, that would not help me in the least. Between Solly (the wife) on the right and Echo (the cat) on the left, I'm squeezed
into what feels like about 6 inches of bed space. We could get a California King (or something even bigger if it exists) and
I would still have the same 6 inches. But, it is nice to feel so loved.
From: "Larry Mertz" LnTMertz@centuryinter.net
Date: 1998/01/02
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
If you sleep with the cats....You are a guest in THEIR bed. Our cats stay up with me until I go to bed then we all converge
on my wife for warmth. We have a king-size bed and only use the far right side. My wife complains that we are the sleep
terrorists but I know she loves for the family to get together! When she leaves for work in the morning we stretch out a
little bit and pull the covers tighter. Our magpie will only sleep if he is under the blanket. He claws at the edge until you
lift it up and say "come on" he climbs in and spins and motors to sleep.
From: "Elizabeth A Blake" poodlebone@prodigy.net
Date: 1998/01/02
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
I have one cat who sleeps with me most nights. She has a different favorite spot from week to week. For awhile she stayed
in the lower left corner of the bed, which was great because I didn't have to worry about accidentally kicking or rolling over
on her. Then she was back on my right side, and now she's decided that she likes sharing the pillow with me. She also shifts
positions in the night sometimes so I'm never really sure where she'll be when I wake up. Liz.
From: taznik@webtv.net (randy palmiter)
Date: 1998/01/09
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
My husband and I share our full size (54x75) bed with four of our seven cats on a nightly basis. I guess you just get used to
the extra lumps! Karen.
From: dawnwolfbk@aol.com (Dawnwolfbk)
Date: 1998/01/07
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
Try sleeping with 3 poodles & two cats. Much fun. Dawn Wolf
From: Joe and CC Figel abitabit@neosoft.com
Date: 1998/01/19
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
We have four dogs and three cats. Sometimes Luther, "Mr...I'm so special" will stay outside but is usually right on top of my
head. He's a black (Egyptian) with deep amber eyes. Lillie, the white Turkish angora, is the only one of the pack that has her
own space. So, that makes 6 critters and us two in a queen-size bed.
From: xxpasley@pressroom.com
Date: 1998/01/15
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
I sometimes slept with my cat at my feet when I was a kid. We played foot chase games and then she would sleep between my
feet and the footboard. She would wake me in the mornings by quietly standing on my chest with her face about an inch from
mine. Once my eyes were opened, she took this as her que to resume the foot chase games.
From: "kasey nix" nixkase@auburn.campus.mci.net
Date: 1998/01/13
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
I sleep with my 10-month-old Maine Coon cat and he will literally sleep on my head! The funny thing is that I sleep just fine
with him like that and I will have trouble going to sleep if he isn't in bed with me"
From: debabe@ix.netcom.com
Date: 1998/01/08
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
Actually, I am very lucky. Bono, Squash, Pumpkin, Ringo and sometimes Figaro and Hannah permit me to share a small
portion of THEIR queen-size bed every night. And I mean a small portion.
From: siamese98@aol.com (Siamese98)
Date: 1998/01/08
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
You guys are lucky. My Tommy will lay comfortably close to you for a while, then somehow end up wrapped around my head,
usually when I wake up. She starts purring RIGHT in my ear and "kneading" her claws through my hair. OUCH!! my Freddy
will always end up between my knees, so any movement disturbs him, which wakes him up and of course, starts him purring
again! Andrea
From: "Giant" giant@sparknet.net
Date: 1998/01/05
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
My husband and I have 4 cats. Three of them take turns sleeping with us. When I go to bed, I call the kitties (for anyone for
whom it wouldn't be an inconvenience), and Annie runs into the room and jumps on the bed. She has a stuffed bunny that she
sometimes kneads, at others, she kneads the back of my head or washes my ears or face. (Makes it hard to fall asleep.)
When every is settled, Baby, the oldest, jumps up and takes an authoritative stroll across the pillows. Then he sits by my head
until I straighten out a section of blanket next to me. Once it is completely flat, he will curl up for the night. Since Scott gets up
very early for work, I stay in bed and wait for my morning visit from Beaner. She doesn't like sharing her attention with anyone
else, so she wakes me up to get me all to herself. She is also known for waiting on the sink for lovings as soon as anyone
gets out of the shower. At night, she usually sleeps on a couch on her back. I guess I could go on for hours about the "kids"
but I'll try and save some for later. djt
From: Ronn Blankenship ronn.blankenship@NOSPAM.worldnet.att.net
Date: 1998/01/03
Newsgroups: alt.animals.felines
Other observations on this subject:
(1) Why, if you have a double bed, does kitty lie ACROSS the bed, thereby preventing a human from lying on EITHER
side of the bed?
(2) When I want to get up, I first have to crawl over Andy to get to the edge of the bed (no matter WHERE was when we
went to sleep, he's between me and the edge by geting up time). Usually, he then waits until I get out of bed and about to the
door, then he jumps down and races between my legs to test my coordination. However . . . on those occasions when
something is hurting when I go to bed so I have a heating pad in bed with me, as soon as I move, Andy dives on the heating
pad and stretches out and becomes virtually impossible to disloge. I guess I need to get him his own heating pad?
(3) Of course, there are the times he decides there is enough room left on the pillow for him to lie there. If I don't wake up
with a fuzzy tail in my mouth, I usually wake up to find that my head is lying on the mattress because Andy has taken over the
whole pillow slowly enough that he didn't wake me.
Would I trade sleeping with cats for a normal night's sleep? No! Would you? -- Ronn! :)