Just for fun let this animated gif load. Thanks to ----------- for letting me post it

And here is something else.

Interview with a Newbie

Posted by Thomas in Niagara on 8/11/2001, 9:28 am 

24.226.101.45

Interview With A Newbie Explorer User

What follows is an excerpt from a 4 hour interview with Thomas in Niagara. He has just purchased a new Minelab Explorer XS and we questioned him on his progress and his thoughts on the new machine...

Interviewer: How many hours have you logged on the new machine?

Thomas In Niagara: [counts on his fingers, touches eyebrows, nose, each ear] 12 hours. It's been too hot and dry. About [touches eyebrows and nose again] 3 of those hours were spent just listening to the tones, not digging any targets.

Interviewer: You used a Whites machine before this...much difference?

Thomas in Niagara: [Does a Jerry Lewis 'spit take'] Sorry! Here's a hanky... Totally different! White's machines had one tone. No high tone, no low tones and an analog meter. Pass over a good target like a water pipe and you could dig 'Quarter targets at 4 inches' for almost 20 feet before you finally get the drift of false iron signals. Why Whites would suggest that penny/dime should be lumped together on the meter is a cruel Sweethome joke too. But I had a lot of fun with.... well....let's just say I've relocated the earths iron content to a more central location. 23'rd century Archies will wonder when 'dump digging' how so much iron got to be in Fort Erie when it originates elsewhere in Niagara.

Interviewer: Have you noticed any cracking of the housing or rod?

Thomas in Niagara [Funny look then the light goes on] Who's Rod? oooh.... nah I'm skeerd to look. Next question....

Interviewer: So what have you found so far with the Explorer?

Thomas in Niagara: [lightly taps his left thumb and two fingers with his other index finger, hesitates...] Three pennies. Some aluminum can shards, a shoe horn [wide eyed nodding] Really! A shoehorn! But I'll tell ya...I've never had a dirt ring so far up my arm before!!!

Interviewer: I thought you said you'd logged quite a few hours on the Explorer? Maybe we should come back in a few weeks....

Thomas in Niagara: I am my own worst enemy... Everybody says...leave it in the Quickstart Mode and maybe hit Ironmask. But after a little while... it seems like the Sensitivity should be increased...and the Audio should be tweaked and why not notch out screwcaps, nails, foil and 'hey this looks like it might do something' until the machine is just twitching and groaning like a horse that's been 'rode hard and put away wet'. And it's beeping at ants crawling and dry twigs.

Interviewer: I think we will come back in a few weeks....

Thomas in Niagara: No! Hey! I'm gonna like this machine.... I'll buy beer...

Interviewer: Did you even read the manual?

Thomas in Niagara: That book that came with it with all the pictures and stuff? There's a lot of big words. The pictures are neat though. Just curious.... have you ever heard of a book called the "Fah King"? I called a local Minelab dealer the other day and they told me to read it. Then they called me Manuel. I asked how you set up the descrimination and they said "Read the Fah King, Manuel!" I checked at the library but they just laughed and said 'No' they didn't have it.

Interviewer: We're coming back in a few weeks.... read the Fah King, Manuel.

At this point Thomas in Niagara got all twitchy and scary looking so we concluded the interview. We will resume in several weeks after he's read the manual several more times and logged a few more productive hours on the Explorer.

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